Freedom from the ancestral grip

Posted by on Jul 8, 2016

This post also appears on simply woman

I sat next to my sick Mother in the hospital today listening to her tell me stories from her past. As I listened to these stories about other people I noticed a common theme. They were all about suffering and traumas that people endured over their lives. I watched her as she would retell these stories over and over again and then tear up in the process. This is where it suddenly struck me! This place of sadness, and suffering was a familiar place to me at one time. As a child I would listen to these tales very intently and would take the place of the “victim” in the story. I would imagine and feel all the possible emotions this person would have felt. Yet here I sat today, unwilling to go “there” to that once familiar place of sadness. I no longer became emotional even when I watched my Mom cry. I had no interest in the story neither did I pay attention to the details.

Instead I looked into my Mom’s tear filled eyes and asked, “Mom, is there anyone you know who has a happy life?”  She responded very quickly and with certainty.  “Even the greatest Kings and Queens who have lived in the world had to go through immense struggles and challenges!” There it was! I recognized the belief that I had lived with all my life. Life couldn’t be easy, happy, and filled with love. So how was it that I sat here today unable to visit that familiar place of sadness and suffering with my mom? She needed company here didn’t she?

This is when I realized I had broken free of the legacy of my ancestors!  It had taken me over a decade of self work for me to break free. After numerous books, workshops, courses, healings, processes and practices, I was able to narrow it down to 4 simple questions which helped me break free from my ancestral grip.

  1. Is this thought that I am thinking one that I feel good about? If not, what thought would feel better? “Insert new thought”.
  2. Is this action/reaction constructive or destructive to my desired outcome? If destructive, then what would be a constructive action/reaction?
  3. How would I see my current circumstances ten years from now when I look back at my life?  Gaining a new detached perspective made it easier to travel through the storms of life. If my current circumstances were pleasant I was able to see the beauty, magic, and gifts of the moment from a greater life perspective.
  4. Is this true?  Can there be another truth that I can adopt? This was the question I asked of all beliefs I had adopted from my legacy. For example, “men are abusive.” Is this true?  “Yes.” Is this true for all people?  “No.” If it is not true for all then why does it have to be true for me? It is not true. All men are not abusive. I can adopt a new belief where I can choose to relate to men who are not abusive.

I had diligently asked myself these questions daily for over a decade. I had no idea at the time that I was creating a whole new way of thinking, behaving, seeing, believing, being and becoming in the world!  I was no longer living by repeating the same energetic patterns of my ancestors. I had a choice. When I asked these questions my choices became clearer.

I am grateful to my Mother, and all those who came before her for being the catalyst for my freedom and growth. I was raised in a dark cave filled with sorrow, fear, and anger. When I looked outward, I saw flashes of “light”.  I followed these flashes to discover freedom from the cave. Once I was free I could no longer return. A new legacy is being created one day at a time.  What’s your legacy?

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